Tonight I had to do something incredibly hard. Something that is immensely difficult and with no easy way of doing so. I had to tell my children that their grandfather will be passing away soon.
Some may know from my tweets via Twitter that my father has been battling cancer. Unfortunately, his battle will be coming to an end soon. His cancer has aggressively spread, even forming a tumor in his brain. For months, he’s been slowly losing his motor skills but during the last several weeks has progressively & severely gotten worse. This past week had been especially hard since it was the first time I was unable to understand anything he said, his speech brought down to an unrecognizable mumble. When I saw him tonight, I realized the end is near. I can just see it in his eyes and his lack of coherence.
I truly didn’t want to have my children see him in this state but they insisted, wanting to see the grandfather they adored & tell him that they loved him before he passed on. It’s an unimaginably hard decision to make and even more difficult to do, but I also know the closeness my children have with their grandfather and how important it was for them to be there. My dad had a brief moment of lucidity where he recognized his grandchildren and gave them each a kiss. My mom asked if he loved them and nodded yes. When the girls left the room, I cried.
I’ll be talking with my children about all of this during the week and helping them cope with whatever questions or emotions they may have. I’m happy that the last thing they got from their grandfather was an “I love you”, even if it was just a nod.
Rey, I know this is a very difficult time, but maybe it will help to know that he was loved and loved in return. Also, you’re right, it is great that the last memory your children will have of their grandfather is him telling them he loves them. My thoughts are with you and your family. Hang in there, my friend. Hang in there.
I am really sorry to hear this Ray, I wish you and your family the best during those tough times.
@Rey, as a father of two little girls my heart goes out to you and your family. I know it’s hurting them, but I can’t help but feel for you as a dad.
Best wishes to you and your family during this difficult time.
Thank you for sharing that, Rey. Plainly your children are v.strong and caring, and all of you will be grateful that they had the chance to say bye — however tough that moment was.
My thoughts go out to you and your family.
My girlfriend’s mother is a cancer patient who has undergone 2nd sitting of chemo. Even I fear how will things go as the day will near. :(
So, I can well imagine how bad things are going with you. Hey… my wishes are always with you.
I’m so sorry. You did the right thing in letting the girls see their grandfather. I’ll be praying for you all.
God bless, Ray.
I’m very sorry to hear that. I just went through the same thing with my father.
Rey,
All the wishes in the world will not be enough, but I am glad to hear that you allowed your children to see their grandfather.
They will remember this, and I can speak from experience that it will help deal with the grief.
Thoughts are there with you.
My thoughts are with you and your family, Rey.
My sincere condolences and I hope your dad passes peacefully. The one thing that has always given me solace when a loved one has died, is that they always live with me in memory.
I was blessed to have my Grandfather around until this year (he died just a few months before turning 90,) but I know I’ll always hear his voice giving me guidance.
When people have a strong impact on you (as it sounds your father has surely done) then they will always be with you.
Ray, I can feel your pain from my own experience. We will be praying for you all.
I just lost my favorite Aunt to cancer (she had been diagnosed only 2 months earlier), but got to spend the final days with her and my niece and nephew. I know she enjoyed just having the kids around even though she couldn’t engage with them the way she’s done in better days. I’m sure your kids brought the same happiness to your father.
All the best in a trying time.
Rey, our thoughts and prayers are with you, the children, and the family.
My father passed away last year from cancer as well. Bless you and your family during this time. I sat my son down and told him the truth, Grampy was old and very sick. Just be honest. Good luck with everything.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family Rey.
Hang in there Rey. You’ll make it thru this and be stronger for it. My thoughts are with you.
Hey Rey,
I’m so sorry to hear that your dad’s condition is worsening so rapidly. Allowing your kids to see him was a courageous and loving thing to do, and I’m sure your kids will always be grateful to have had that moment together with your dad.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Rey,
Tough decision but good choice. It’s always hard to decide what your children can handle. My wife and I always ask ourselves in these situations: “are we building strong ships or calming the water?” Choosing to allow your children to see your father was a character building experience for your daughters, and a memory that they will cherish.
You’re a good father Rey. Apparently a family trait.
-p
Man, that’s tough. My condolences to you and your family, Rey.
My condolences to you and your family.